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Having one of the less serious hepatitises shows that you lived a full life but didn't go overboard. — Scott Simpson (@scottsimpson) September 27, 2013
Hide a switchblade on a baby during its baptism and you can have a blessed weapon like a Templar knight. — Ceej (@ceejoyner) September 27,
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw orgies. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 27, 2013 via http://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod
I wonder if guys who say they're gonna "crush pussy" realize drunkenly eating Taco Bell then passing out on a futon isn't "crushing pussy." —
Girl, are you my Beanie Baby collection because I'd need at least five plastic containers to store you under my bed. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana)
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I don't mind being the friend everyone feels comfortable talking about shitting with, but know that I never sought it out. — shelby fero (@shelbyfero)
"Tea party" used to refer to children serving an imaginary solution to stuffing-headed friends in a make-believe world. And it still does. — God (@TheTweetOfGod)