Dear parents who photograph their children napping or set up dinosaur scenes while their kids are sleeping: You should be having sex. — Sarah Thyre
FUN PRANK: step 1: fill your frends locker full of ping pong balls Step 2: murder his family — Trevor Pratt (@TrevorThoughts) November 19, 2013 via

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Girls Are Assholes: At a Bar.
How could this happen to me?.
Like a kiwi, I'm kind of sweet and fruity once you get past all the toughness and hair. — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) November 18, 2013
The first walk on the ice (Первая прогулка на льду).