Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the '80s throwing them
It amazes Me that the same people who doubt that I can be on Twitter have no trouble believing Jesus is on a piece of
Just wait until all those people who live in fear of sharks hear about diabetes and chemical warfare! — Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) May 13, 2014
Oklahoma City has two airports they are called Will Rogers and Wiley Post idk if you know how those dudes died — Paige (@PeachCoffin) May
Out of all the words having to do with obesity and heart disease, I'd say "poutine" is the most fun to say. — $pencer (@13spencer)
If you enjoy exercise and accidentally scaring women, you simply must try jogging at night. — Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) May 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/mikeleffingwell
Girl, you can call my penis "emoji" because I honestly have no idea how to use one properly. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 13, 2014
Girl, are you my 401(k) because, by law, I am not allowed to touch you without penalty. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 13, 2014 via
*messes with Texas, calls it a comeback, looks back in anger, stops believing, goes chasing waterfalls* — Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) May 12, 2014 via http://twitter.com/Kendragarden