Category: Twitter

My review of the constellation The Big Dipper: 7 stars — Betty F*ckin' White (@BettyFckinWhite) March 5, 2014 via http://twitter.com/BettyFckinWhite

My favorite Fat Tuesday was 27 years ago when I decided to give up religion for Lent. — Amanda Mancino (@Manda_like_wine) March 4, 2014 via

my ex said he just wants me to be happy well then maybe don't break up with me and make your dick bigger — Sarah

I tweet at 3:AM on weekends so people think I'm out having a fun night and not waking up after falling asleep at 9. —

I bought a new desk for my apartment thinking it would help me focus on my writing work, but guess what? My computer still has

I'm sorry, but if your mother complains her taco is too soggy, I can't just leave that alone. — Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) February 27, 2014

Current tax bracket: Still Has To Ask If Guacamole Costs Extra — Gennefer Gross (@Gennefer) February 26, 2014 via http://twitter.com/Gennefer

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Sell a man a fish and he'll eat for a day and you'll make

Was hookin up w/a stable guy & I jumped out of bed he said what's wrong I said I've never had sex w/a guy who

You'd think Fred Flintstone would've been able to quit his construction job after he became a successful vitamin entrepreneur — Brian Essbe (@SortaBad) February 26,