Every kid in my niece's 4th grade class should probably spell their name with a red squiggly line underneath it. — Don Nichols (@TheDairylandDon) March
The closest we've ever come to time travel is saying, "Hang on I'm just gonna check one thing on the internet," and then it's 5
"Really? We have other choices." – Austin bartender's reaction to me ordering a Bud Light #SXSW — Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) March 8, 2014 via http://twitter.com/JennyJohnsonHi5
The worst part of being an Italian Jew on Saint Patrick's Day who happens to have red hair is everything. — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 8,
Lately I just call every baby girl I meet Emma or Ava and I haven't gotten it wrong yet. — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 8, 2014
What's the best new video game simulating that war our grandfathers watched their friends die in? — Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) March 8, 2014 via http://twitter.com/TheThomason
The new file clerk at my job just told me he was born in 1994 and now I'm really confused as to how he's not
Swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ON A BIBLE is one of the great ironies of life. —