What idiot called it a foot fetish instead of sandalwood? — Amanda Mancino (@Manda_like_wine) May 12, 2014 via http://twitter.com/Manda_like_wine
Thanks mom for creating a human in your body & raising it forever. Anyway here's a card with cursive letters. Hope we're even! — Kevin
Happy Valentine's Day, Oedipus. — Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) May 11, 2014 via http://twitter.com/KevinFarzad
Parenting is the only job I've had where the longer I do it, the worse I am at it. — Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) May 11,
If you don't know what to say in a meeting, just go with, "Hey, you can't shit your pants if you're naked." — Julius Sharpe
Maybe we should stop calling 'em pizza crusts & just refer to them as love handles — Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 8, 2014 via http://twitter.com/RandiLawson
I couldn't tell you what it would be like if Jack Black fought Jack White. It's a bit of a grey area. — William_Shartner (@Blarebare)
The eyes are the window to the soul, but the mouth is the glory-hole to the heart — Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 8, 2014 via