"Ugh the black are the worst why do they even exist" -loud out of context sentence about jellybeans this entire restaurant just heard me say
And the award for best neckwear goes to.. Well would you look at that, it's a tie — Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) May 18, 2014 via http://twitter.com/CornOnTheGoblin
LOOK DOWN: a rhyming response to that LOOK UP viral video.

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Find out which of these #RuinAToy tweets is the best on tonight’s new @midnight.
No thanks, internet. pic.twitter.com/WGpAF3pKmh — desi jedeikin (@DesiJedeikin) May 20, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DesiJedeikin
"Sorry dude. I missed again. Cool cup though." - refrigerator ice dispensers — Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) May 19, 2014 via http://twitter.com/GrowlyGrego
When a guy asks if the carpet matches the drapes I say "actually it's hardwood throughout" then I show him my dick — Paige (@PeachCoffin)