See, I Can Share!

New iPhone to have fingerprint sensor SO I GUESS YOU NERDS WILL FINALLY GET TO FINGER SOMETHING BANG SENIORS RULE FRESHMAN DROOL I KNOW SEX

I'll buy kids beer unless they call me ma'am then I'm drinking a forty in front of them while I rub my drivers license on

Who put chocolate in my peanut butter? Who put peanut butter in my chocolate? Who put shellfish in my coffee? Who IS the allergy killer?

Running for president of my sorority on a platform of fiscal responsibility and Taylor being a dirty skank. — shelby fero (@shelbyfero) September 8, 2013

I worked at a Chili's when I was in college which is so embarrassing, I usually just tell people I was a stripper. — Jenny