PITTSBURGH DAD AT IKEA.
Oh you want to go to the swimming pool? You mean the giant bowl of soft porn soup? No thanks satan lover. — NOT A
someone gave me a five dollar starbucks gift card so i'm gonna make a down payment on a frappuccino — whatever. (@hiitsmolly) May 31, 2014

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Did you guys who like going to beaches know that you can stay in your house and put chips into your mouth — audrey farnsworth
"I'm so fucked." – what sick kids must be thinking when their favorite athlete walks into their hospital room — Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 30,
I love My followers in India because to make things easier they outsource My job to hundreds of other gods. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 30,

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