Author: Sean Loos

I was bragging about my niece and someone asked how old she is and I was like… uh. 8? 14?… Look, the point is she

kid: I'll be the mom you be the dad me: does that mean i can leave? #nailedit — Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) May 6, 2014 via http://twitter.com/hellolanemoore

Happy penis to Sigmund Freud. What? No, I'm pretty sure I said "birthday." — rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) May 6, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DJRotaryRachel

"Shhhh. We're hiding from Paula Cole." -cowboys — Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) May 3, 2014 via http://twitter.com/AaronFullerton

How is every elevator floor not covered in 2 inches of boogers — Scott Simpson (@scottsimpson) May 6, 2014 via http://twitter.com/scottsimpson