Author: Sean Loos

Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey is an unfortunate bra size. — Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) April 14, 2014 via http://twitter.com/LizHackett

Thinking of decorating my bedroom to look like my work cubicle so I can get some sleep. — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 14, 2014 via http://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt

Today, in honor of Palm Sunday, masturbate. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod

Even worse than this obsession with thigh gap? Thigh old navy. — Betty F*ckin' White (@BettyFckinWhite) April 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/BettyFckinWhite

Please don't post a screenshot if your battery percentage is low, I can't focus on the picture because your low battery is stressing me out.