My Sound of Music rock opera starring Axl Rose will be called "Guns N' Roses N' Whiskers On Kittens." — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 21,
Imagine, Twitter is just a word document that you've opened and you're in fact, a Schizophrenic. — K. WARHOL (@KhrisWarhol) May 21, 2014 via http://twitter.com/KhrisWarhol
*pushes everything off desk in a fit of unbridled passion* *lovingly, gently and oh so sexily lays breakfast burrito on cleared surface* — rachael (@WookieOnUnicorn) May
Why they still makin porn now that we got this gif of Giada De Laurentiis peelin a shrimp — Scott Simpson (@scottsimpson) May 21, 2014
Hypothesis (January, 2013): https://t.co/t23saALIT7 Verification (Today): pic.twitter.com/b1t1OIs9zO — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 21, 2014 via http://twitter.com/badbanana
My beach body is ready for sea turtles to bury eggs inside me. On the full moon they will hatch and crawl to the sea.
In high school I was voted "Class Clown" because I kept showing up at parties despite being universally feared and disliked. — Molly Manglewood (@undeadmolly)
"Ugh the black are the worst why do they even exist" -loud out of context sentence about jellybeans this entire restaurant just heard me say
And the award for best neckwear goes to.. Well would you look at that, it's a tie — Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) May 18, 2014 via http://twitter.com/CornOnTheGoblin
No thanks, internet. pic.twitter.com/WGpAF3pKmh — desi jedeikin (@DesiJedeikin) May 20, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DesiJedeikin