Your honor I would like to call Shakira's hips to the stand — o holy peach (@PeachCoffin) December 8, 2013 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
Bought a fake rock to hide a key in by the door of my 3rd floor apartment before I actually thought about it for more
Damn it's cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you're still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work
i have disguise myself as a biscut. i will gain their trust in order to eventually betray and eat all of them. — birdsrightsactivist (@ProBirdRights)
There are no shortcuts in life. If you want something, you have to go out there and be born white. — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) December
Putting a tattoo on your boob is like decorating a TV. — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) December 5, 2013 via http://twitter.com/kellyoxford
I have an hourglass figure in that everything's slowly moving down into my bottom half — Sarah Beattie (@nachosarah) December 3, 2013 via http://twitter.com/nachosarah
A tanning bed is a panini grill for sluts. — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) December 2, 2013 via http://twitter.com/trevso_electric
During dinner my friend said the height and weight of her toddler and everyone but me gasp. I have no idea if he's giant or