Ugh. Had to give a presentation to my son's 5th grade class about career choices today pic.twitter.com/mq03ILWiT7 — Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) January 14, 2014 via
I wore light colored blue jeans yesterday and now Im a bunch of peoples' dad 🙁 — Last Place Matt (@matt_simpson84) January 8, 2014 via
*sets paper near an enemy's pet rock collection* Time to say goodnight, you fuckers. — Jason Miller (@longwall26) January 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/longwall26
A flock of teen boys is called a jizzsock. — Paige (@PeachCoffin) January 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
Don't get too excited if I say we're soulmates I am also soulmates with meatballs and a very soft stray cat with one eye —
What if Starbucks always gets our name right and were just taking other people's cups? — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/kellyoxford
What,. do we want? A–manual on proper: punctuation! When/ do we want it! Now? — Jason Miller (@longwall26) January 12, 2014 via http://twitter.com/longwall26
imo mustache is the best mode of transportation — Paige (@PeachCoffin) January 12, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
If you see someone with something in their teeth, kindly let them know by putting a head of cabbage in your mouth & saying "GUESS
I thought of a good smoothie recipe: 1. Make smoothie 2. Pour smoothie down drain 3. Eat a cherry Toaster Strudel® — Paige (@PeachCoffin) January 11, 2014