Pumpkin Spice and Pumpkin taste nothing alike. The former tastes like cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves and latter tastes like cold diarrhea. — Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell)
bro i'm editing some vietnamese noodles in phởtoshop. — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) December 1, 2013 via http://twitter.com/trevso_electric
Antibiotics are how Doctors say, "whatever." — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) November 29, 2013 via http://twitter.com/trevso_electric
You're ready to have kids if you enjoy yelling "privacy!" 10X and still having someone burst in on you shitting and/or putting in a tampon.
Bea, age 5 "Is everyone in parade in costumes?" Me "Maybe mostly warm clothes and toques." Bea "What's a toque?" SO IT'S ALL OVER YOU GUYS. —
Tonight many people will be pulled over for suspected drunk driving so it's a good night to call or cab or be born into white
People who suck at parking are like people who suck at MarioKart: they always get towed (Toad). Ok this joke may have worked better out
Your Victoria's Secret lotion smells like a handjob from a pack of Starburst. — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) November 27, 2013 via http://twitter.com/trevso_electric
Damn girl, is your name PBS cause today you're just one period drama after another. — rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) November 26, 2013 via http://twitter.com/DJRotaryRachel