The only way to get a moderate amount of mayonnaise on a Subway sandwich is to ask for no mayonnaise. — Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) November
Do you guys think Hello Kitty grew up and was like, "It's Salutations Cat"? — Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) November 25, 2013 via http://twitter.com/lianamaeby
Can I still keep Yahoo Answers as my doctor under Obamacare? — Trevor S (@trevso_electric) November 25, 2013 via http://twitter.com/trevso_electric
Not saying your kid is a brat but I just saw an Oompa Loompa blow into a pitch pipe. — rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) November 23,
When someone posts "I have the best hubby in the world" on Facebook, I immediately think about how their Dateline episode is gonna end. —
Every word in the Bible is literally true. Then they start grouping themselves into sentences and you've got yourself a problem. — God (@TheTweetOfGod) November
Guess it's time to switch out the jar of sun tea on the front porch for a jar of sun eggnog. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana)
It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims' hands into turkeys this time of year. — Jason Miller (@longwall26) November 22,