"Puss 'N Boots" would be a good name for a brothel run by a cobbler. — Steve Mieczkowski (@IGotsSmarts) April 20, 2014 via http://twitter.com/IGotsSmarts
I don't know why I have to be the Easter Bunny. I have 4 kids. I'm terrible at hiding eggs. — ruthakers (@ruthakers) April 20,
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza. —
Jesus saves. Unless He needs to switch file formats, in which case Jesus saves as. — Matthew Hunziker (@DogCitizen) April 19, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DogCitizen
The opposite of John Cougar Mellencamp is Hooker Wolf Beefmotel. — Paige (@PeachCoffin) April 19, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
The three-way light bulb is the most sexually liberated of all light bulbs. — Nicole Betz (@TomHanksIsHot) April 19, 2014 via http://twitter.com/TomHanksIsHot
Jesus is like Frank Zappa: a talented, forward thinking guy with insufferable fans. — rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) April 19, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DJRotaryRachel
A deer stenciled in the wall in blood, organs preserved in adorable vintage marmalade jars? Face it Sarge, the Pinterest Killer is back. — Molly
Hi kids, welcome to my special egg hunt. The eggs are hidden inside my body because I am a fertile woman. We are going to