Unless I missed an international news story, the TV show "Finding Bigfoot" should probably be called "Not Finding Bigfoot" — Chris Pratt (@prattprattpratt) July 16,
The opposite of aging gracefully is aging nancygracefully, where you literally morph into a horrible human being. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) July 16, 2013
Why isnt the NRA saying the tragedy wouldn’t have happened if Trayvon Martin was armed,& calling on young black men to get themselves guns? —
The far far right is old and whiteDeep in the heart of Texas.They flash their badge inside your vajDeep in the heart of Texas. —
Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg are dating which caused the 90s to cum in its pants. — Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) July 13, 2013
if you hold a seashell to one ear it sounds like the ocean but you can hear children calling you a dork in your other
WHO LET THE OWLS OUT?? DON’T SING THE CHORUS YOU’LL MAKE IT WORSE — Brian Gaar (@briangaar) July 12, 2013
SHARKNADO SEQUELS WolfcanoBearnamiHippoquakePiranhurricaneTarantulavalancheLizard Blizzard — Satan (@TheTweetOfGod) July 12, 2013
My doctor said I should eat more Taco Bell. He actually said "Less McDonald's", but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant. — Hakim
https://twitter.com/robfee/statuses/355114720384131072