Kind of fu**ed up that the popes don't believe in gay marriage even though they're gay-married to God and Jesus. — tyler (@godlikemind) March 13,
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That's not lazy, that's proactive. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) March 22, 2013
http://twitter.com/shelbyfero/statuses/314848310974357504
If Jay-Z has never sang "You're Beyonce, Beytwice, Beythree times a lady…" to Beyonce all of this living is for nothing — Sofiya Alexandra (@TheSofiya)
http://twitter.com/michaelianblack/statuses/314791982989967360
anal beads are just beads with OCD — lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) March 20, 2013
http://twitter.com/shelbyfero/statuses/314141861667282944
Really torn between a low carb diet and a low self esteem diet — roothakers (@roothakers) March 19, 2013
Bi-Polar Bears usually attack without warning, then sob for hours while eating leftover walrus. — Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 21, 2012
I want a copy of Penthouse to casually flip through whenever I sit next to a lady reading 50 Shades of Grey on the bus.