See, I Can Share!

Just wait until all those people who live in fear of sharks hear about diabetes and chemical warfare! — Liana Maeby (@lianamaeby) May 13, 2014

Oklahoma City has two airports they are called Will Rogers and Wiley Post idk if you know how those dudes died — Paige (@PeachCoffin) May

Out of all the words having to do with obesity and heart disease, I'd say "poutine" is the most fun to say. — $pencer (@13spencer)

If you enjoy exercise and accidentally scaring women, you simply must try jogging at night. — Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) May 13, 2014 via http://twitter.com/mikeleffingwell

Girl, you can call my penis "emoji" because I honestly have no idea how to use one properly. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 13, 2014

Girl, are you my 401(k) because, by law, I am not allowed to touch you without penalty. — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 13, 2014 via