The Best Pick Up Lines Are on Twitter | OC Weekly.
If Ke$ha had a Roomba, I bet it would get constantly clogged with sweaty glitter. — Betty F*ckin' White (@BettyFckinWhite) May 7, 2014 via http://twitter.com/BettyFckinWhite
Winnie the Pooh's full name is Winston the Feces VII — Michael (@Home_Halfway) May 7, 2014 via http://twitter.com/Home_Halfway
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achmed13 shared this story from  @midnight.
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Find out which of these #BadPrequels got two thumbs up on tonight’s new @midnight.
Whoa, has this ever happened to you? I went to bed really early and now I'm awake and my eyes don't even burn. Should I
An Honest Title For Every Pinterest Board You’ve Ever Seen | someecards.com.
I was bragging about my niece and someone asked how old she is and I was like… uh. 8? 14?… Look, the point is she
kid: I'll be the mom you be the dad me: does that mean i can leave? #nailedit — Lane Moore (@hellolanemoore) May 6, 2014 via http://twitter.com/hellolanemoore
Happy penis to Sigmund Freud. What? No, I'm pretty sure I said "birthday." — rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) May 6, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DJRotaryRachel
"Shhhh. We're hiding from Paula Cole." -cowboys — Aaron Fullerton (@AaronFullerton) May 3, 2014 via http://twitter.com/AaronFullerton