See, I Can Share!

The hardest part about knowing stuff is having to pretend you don't know stuff so nobody notices you. — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 19, 2014 via

Hoarders: We May Be Living In Squalor But Guess What We're Homeowners And You're Not — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 17, 2014 via http://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt

Here in the South they refer to light snowfall as a "glaze" or a "frosting" because obesity. — OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) March 17, 2014 via http://twitter.com/OhNoSheTwitnt

"They're fortified!" I tell myself, mentally converting the Cocoa Puffs into vegetables. — Molly Manglewood (@undeadmolly) March 16, 2014 via http://twitter.com/undeadmolly

Our family crest is a child's jacket on the floor right next to a row of hooks. — Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) March 15, 2014 via

I think it'd be worth it to cut off your ears just so you could say "Sorry. Can't hear you. No ears." Nobody'd question it.