See, I Can Share!

Maybe humans don’t eat healthy because when we see a salad our ancestral brain thinks, hey, clothes. — mar aggressive (@behindyourback) January 3, 2014 via

the most disturbing thing about the Beauty and the Beast cartoon: someone or something fucked a teapot — Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) January 3, 2014 via

Thought "I wish I could just 'like' things people say out loud" before realizing that is what human laughter is for and we're all doomed.

A nanny is someone who takes care of Muppet babies not someone you stick your dick in, Jude Law. #tweetsfrom2005 — Beige (@PeachCoffin) January 2,

"How many light bulbs will it take to change me?" -Person with Seasonal Affective Disorder — Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) January 2, 2014 via http://twitter.com/shariv67

Heard my girlfriend fart in her sleep and then I cut myself pretty bad from jumping out of the window. — Garrett (@GarrettCake) January 2,