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Tomorrow my youngest, craziest kid turns five. To think, only a few years ago she was a sweet, sweet orgasm. — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) August
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As soon as you grow the mustache (in the proper way, not by growing a beard then shaving everything but the mustache), you get a mysterious letter in the mail asking you to join. You have to send one hair sample every month as your dues. I’m telling you guys, someone’s building a mustache army.
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Don't think about the candy in my purse don't think about the candy in my candy don't candy about the candy candy candy candy —