Author: Sean Loos

The internet as procrastination has probably stopped a lot of inter-office mingling which could lead to marital affairs. Good work internet! — kelly oxford (@kellyoxford)

Legally I could have sex with an 18 year old, but I don't for the same reason I wouldn't waste filet mignon on a toddler.

Nobody peed in 1994 because getting off a pair of overalls and then a bodysuit with crotch snaps took too much time. — Elizabeth Hackett

at the age where people who made pacts to marry each other "if they were both single in 10 years" actually start hoping it's a

My Sound of Music rock opera starring Axl Rose will be called "Guns N' Roses N' Whiskers On Kittens." — Tim Siedell (@badbanana) May 21,

Imagine, Twitter is just a word document that you've opened and you're in fact, a Schizophrenic. — K. WARHOL (@KhrisWarhol) May 21, 2014 via http://twitter.com/KhrisWarhol

*pushes everything off desk in a fit of unbridled passion* *lovingly, gently and oh so sexily lays breakfast burrito on cleared surface* — rachael (@WookieOnUnicorn) May