Author: Sean Loos

Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead

Just invented a game called 'Stuffed Animal Toss' and the children are having so much fun because they don't recognize the new trashcan. — Amanda

Listen, I can take a hint. If a girl ignores my first 6 or 7 texts, she'll only get another handful of chances before I

Clinton was on Between Two Bushes — Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 11, 2014 via http://twitter.com/aparnapkin

Meatloaf is probably my fav singer whose name means smooshed beef sculpture — Paige (@PeachCoffin) March 12, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin

I want to open a specialty grocery store that only sells donuts, swiss cheese, Cheerios, and onion rings. I'll call it Hole Foods. — Betty

Boy, my love for you is like a mini-fridge freezer: Not the temperature you want, but you're still gonna stick your stuff in me. —