All dogs know how to drive cars but none of them ever do cause they can't tell if the lights are red or green and
What's the first thing that pops in your head when I say "aneurysm"? — Cohin Reyds (@cortronic) May 27, 2014 via http://twitter.com/cortronic
sometimes I find it hard to tell someone I love them so I make sure to do things that show my love like peeing with
It was awfully discreet of Bruce Springsteen to name that song "Secret Garden" rather than "Vagina" — Matthew Hunziker (@DogCitizen) May 27, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DogCitizen
just waiting on Jesus to show up here, my grandma's been crying out to him for help for the last hour and a half so if
The good news is we can get Congress to impose strict firearm restrictions if we shape all guns like vaginas. — Bill Dixon (@BillDixonish) May
10 Facts That Will Blow Your Mind, Assuming You Are At Least As Ignorant As The Author Of This List Was Before They Researched It
The older you are, the more questions you have for the waiter. — Michael (@Home_Halfway) May 26, 2014 via http://twitter.com/Home_Halfway