my thoughts are with everyone who has to endure their lover's meat farts later today — lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) May 26, 2014 via http://twitter.com/sbellelauren
The next time you're at a sink with one of those automated soap dispensers, imagine the world's saddest man jizzing in your hand — Scott
The most dangerous thing I do is probably letting Wolverine finger me. — desi jedeikin (@DesiJedeikin) May 26, 2014 via http://twitter.com/DesiJedeikin
"My body made this smell for you using the gaseous remains of our dinner date."–how to turn an embarrassing fart into a romantic gift. —
My Cabbage Patch doll is 30 now. She has a boring job & an apathetic family. She is however having an affair with a handsome
All you need is love. And food. Bring a knife with you. And a way to start a fire. Do you have matches? Matches are
At this point, I want Hillary to be the next president solely to see 1000s of asshole's heads explode. I'm coming just thinking about it.