Why do I hate pollen? Let me spell it out for you. Where does pollen come from? Plant sex. Are any of those plants married?
A team of autistic superheroes called The Spectrum. — Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 23, 2014 via http://twitter.com/KenJennings
Miscarriage is such a negative word. I prefer "self-cleaning oven." — Paige (@PeachCoffin) April 23, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
Why don't death row prisoners request the chair AS the last meal? Then there's no chair, plus you're nice and full. Wake up felons —
There's a new bakery on my block. It's vegan, gluten-free, and dairy-free. It's basically a napkin store. — Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) April 23, 2014 via
wow steve how dare you actually i'm great at chess, i know all the pieces: horse, bathrobe, nipple, woman, house, bart simpson — thomas violence
After I discovered I was allergic to most cat & dog fur, I had to turn to science. Meet my dog, Rick. 100% denim. Feels
I need an antivirus program for my computer that protects me from the 17 daily pop up messages from my current antivirus program — rachael
PROOF I’M GAY Designer Drama queen Love rainbows, beards Hate vaginal sex Obsessed with bondage Blew Adam to life Actively recruiting — God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 22, 2014 via http://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod
Hello scienceists. If evolution so ""great"", bread could Darwin a legs to run from me a bird. But it not it in my stomach. —