I love caramel apples but there has to be an easier way to eat caramel than off a gross apple. — Robin McCauley (@RobinMcCauley) October
Movie idea: Handcuffed to her chair, a pregnant air marshal must stop a group of hijackers by delivering triplets and training them to kill — Jacy
Sometimes when I'm sad I find a tree and whisper "I love you." It doesn't make me feel better but it does keep people from
Just turned down an opportunity to eat biscuits and gravy in the South. Now I know how monks feel. — Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) October 24,
DOUBLE STANDARD: All dogs go to Heaven even though some eat homework and believe in mischief. Humans can't go if they are Jewish. — Brendan
The entrance to Creeptown is located nine rows into any Google image search. — Josh Patten (@thejoshpatten) October 22, 2013 via http://twitter.com/thejoshpatten
Very excited to turn 20 and find out if this is just teen angst or clinical depression. — shelby fero (@shelbyfero) October 22, 2013 via
If you buy leather wristbands and dynamite on the same day the government adds you to a registry of people who can own hawks as