Why aren't all banks in England called £Town? — Dan Polish Last Name (@danjan13) May 24, 2014 via http://twitter.com/danjan13
The reason that there are no seat belts on public transit is because there is no one who rides public transit that wants to live
Redbox is named after my razor burn — Paige (@PeachCoffin) May 23, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
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achmed13 shared this story from  FAIL Blog.
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Douglas Adams brilliantly describes our reactions to technology over time. pic.twitter.com/o6m3QaC1Pk (via @DigitalEthno)
— Anne G (@annegalloway) March 11, 2014
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*Cooks son dinner* *Helps son brush teeth* *Reads son a bed time story* *Tucks son in* *Whispers to son* "you fucking owe me" — Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) May 23, 2014
Got some Dr Bronner's Magic Soap in my eye and now I can see the future. It is very blurry and blood is everywhere so
My sexual orientation is mostly landscape unless it's in the shower then it's portrait — Paige (@PeachCoffin) May 22, 2014 via http://twitter.com/PeachCoffin
Still thinking about that almost full bag of Cool Ranch Doritos I accidentally left at the beach a year ago. — desi jedeikin (@DesiJedeikin) May
How To Do Sit Ups: Lay down. Hands behind your head. Wow this is a good position for a nap. Maybe just take a nap.
what with all the sex and candy, I feel like Marcy's playground could have been better policed — rachael (@WookieOnUnicorn) May 22, 2014 via http://twitter.com/WookieOnUnicorn